My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
