I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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