Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
