just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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