I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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