He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is wine microwaveable?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize