she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
