Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize