Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
