Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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