It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
