so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
