the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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