Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
