He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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