he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
