Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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