i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
