The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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