lets start a swedish sibling band together
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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