I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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