Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
a search helicopter?!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
