so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
