She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
