you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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