If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
