you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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