my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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