Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
