When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
