Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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