Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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