Do you still have your period?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
