My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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