Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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