Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
