Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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