I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
