She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My feet surprised me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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