Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize