There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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