Come see our sink grown plant.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
