I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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