tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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