you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
