I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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