Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
