the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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