i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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