i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
