so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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