Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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