come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
