We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
