Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
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Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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