we made out on top of his cat.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
