hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
