Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You're like the curious george of whores
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
