How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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