Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
one might say we're banned from that church
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
