You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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