you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Randomize
