I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
