Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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