About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So. Much. Porn.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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