he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
im calling her cock vulture from now on
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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