I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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