I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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