That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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