In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
